a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
