In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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