I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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