Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
