Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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