I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
