i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
