I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
