Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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