We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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