1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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