After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The beer is more important than you right now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
