The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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