She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
