IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
