I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
