I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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