great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
