I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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