he shaved USA in his pubs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
