Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My bed smells like the plague
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
