my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
