This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
