I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
