I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
