No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
