She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Blood and glitter go together right?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
