I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
