yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
