why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
