just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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