addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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