my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
