i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize