She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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