it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
