so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
