And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
