I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
