She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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