Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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