just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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