this beer tastes like vomit already
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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