yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
