everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
