big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
