is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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