and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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