It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
