Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
