I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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