Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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