Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
